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Suzanna's Text Feedback for Bailey

Page history last edited by Suzanna 5 years, 5 months ago

To what extent is the text object successful in using the affordances of its platform to communicate? (example: affordances of Twitter: 140-character constraint, hashtags, RTs, @ replies, images, links) How does the medium support the story? What challenges are caused by the platform? What suggestions can you offer for improvement? Is there a better platform for the object?


     This platform offers a variety of affordances, and the text object makes good use of a number of them. The format of commenting lends itself to the first part of the story, in which the characters are having a conversation. Showing the characters as "friending" each other is both amusing and shows progress in the story. And the reviews allow the characters to further the plot as well as develop their personalities a bit more. Challenges here include a lack of detail, but not to the point that it makes the story unsuccessful, and the fact that it reads like a story that is happening in real time, which is a little different from the way Facebook is typically used to comment on events that have already occurred. Still, I'm not sure that I have much to suggest, as I think this works quite well. Perhaps some other Facebook type affordances could be used, such as the Gifts app, to show the giving of objects.


Summarize the narrative in one sentence. In what ways is the text successful at retelling this narrative or invoking narrativity? Are there any places where the narrative or characters are unclear? What strategies can you suggest for improving clarity and/or narrativity?


     A family is struggling to make it to California on Route 66, and is helped by the owners of a small Mom & Pop restaurant along the way. The text object allows for the conversation, the progress of the plot in this small scene, and the development of characters, which all suggest narrativity. There is no introduction to new characters; they simply join the story, much like random friends who comment on a status on Facebook. However, this is overcome simply by reading on and finding out what the role is that the characters play.


To what extent does the author use language, such as imagery, humor, metaphor, etc. successfully? What are the problem areas? What suggestions can you offer?


     There is humor evident in the characters' interactions, and some minor imagery in the suggestion of objects being bought and taken. The characterization of each individual is well-displayed via the style of their conversation. Multiple points of view are also incorporated, though not to the point of confusion. I don't see anything too problematic in this area, though there may be room for further interaction.


To what extent do digital characteristics, such font choice, color, links, interactivity, and the algorithm, support the narrative? In  what ways do they detract? What suggestions can you offer?


     Font choices and colors are regulated by Facebook style. Although the links are not active, they are suggested as if they were active, which would lead the viewer to each character's page, which also suggests the further existence of each character beyond the content of this part of the story. The interactivity that exists between the characters is what really makes this text object work. I do not know, but it would seem that Facebook algorithms were employed in the creation of the object. It would be pretty interesting if the links did actually work, and the viewer could see more about each character. This would make the text object more dynamic, and use more of the Facebook style platform.


What general thoughts or suggestions do you have for the author?


     Bailey, this is an entertaining text object that works well with the piece of the story you have chosen. It generates the feeling that there is more going on, perhaps before and after this selection, and enables the viewer to get into this section and enjoy what is shared. Considering that it is Facebook, I would expect to see some photos or apps involved, but since it was meant to be a primarily text-based object, I think it works well enough without those others.








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